Wednesday, December 3, 2008


God works in such mysterious ways. So, i found out last night that my Ex is in prison again. ( No this is not a trend for me... its just how it happened... Rob is completely different because he was a friend from high school and we've been friends since 2000... it just so happened that after high school he got involved in the wrong lifestyle..) However... my Ex... Mike.... is his name. I do not change names in any of my entries because... well, lets face it, facts are facts, and people should be known for exactly what/who they are... especially when they do people so wrong! OK, so let me get you all up to speed. Mike... I met him March 8th 2007, and fell in love... he was like no one i had ever met. We were together a few short months... 7 to be exact, and then at the very last months of our relationship... i found out about another woman in his life who was pregnant.... She was living in Syracuse, NY... the part he failed to mention was that she was also his wife. She was waiting til after she had the baby to move to NC which was why i had no idea she even existed. Then she showed up in September.... it was over just like that... I was out of the picture and out of the house, and she was moving in. Well, come to find out all the furniture in the house was hers... lol How could I have been so stupid? Love is Blind, and don't ever let people tell you differently. You can't help who you fall for in some cases. Well it wasn't until December... 5 days before my birthday that i actually found out he was married... That was when his wife called me. I had a really hard time with this break up. I gained about 40+ pounds (which is why im struggling to lose weight now) and I swear i didn't get out of bed for about 5 or 6 months unless I absolutely had to. I could not believe I had lived a lie for 7 months. My heart was broken and I had felt betrayed.... naturally there had been some problems between his wife and I... but eventually that all came to an end. I eventually woke up and began to mend the peices of my broken heart back together... during that process rob came along to help me get over it... as my friend and nothing more... things change though... Well back to the situation with Mike now. So I went to NYS DOC website to look up information on sending Rob some stuff... I happened to see the link for the "inmate lookup" I figured what the hell...let me type Mike's name (as well as others) in there and see what I get... hes lied to me so many other times let me see if what he told me he went to prison for the First time, was the truth or not.... That in fact was TRUE... then..... THEN i continue to read on about his criminal record (you know all this info is public, and is always kept on file)... well lone behold.... it says current status: IN CUSTODY.... for a porole violation based on his conditional release date which as you know was when he was released from prison and put on parole. He's now in Livingston correctional facility... go figure, and this is what got me the most..... He's not eligible for an early release until March 1oth, 2010.... now... that date is significant to me because March 10th was our first date... our first kiss, and when we officially decided to be together... but in 2007. For me, it was a sign from God, and yes, it was meant for me to look him up and see this information. Karma... After everything he did to me and put me through for those 7 months (which was not bad because I did love him), but there after was the hard part... finding out all the lies, and betrayal. Going through the depression... He is exactly where he should be right now, and won't have freedom until the day he met me but 3 years later. I know I should not be happy about it, and I do feel bad for his 3 children... maybe even his wife too, but he deserves to be where he is. I'm over him. I'm no longer longing for his love. I'm no longer bitter for the lies and the hurt, but I am thankful for the opportunity to have been with him. I'm thankful that for those 7 months he showed me love in a different way. Even though things were bad for a moment in time between us, it was just as hard for him to say goodbye to me as it was me having to let go of him, and theres no doubt in my mind that he didn't love me. I've learned a lesson from him, that could not have had a better teacher than him. Karma is indeed a fact, and tho he may not even realize the significance of those dates, I do... and I needed that. I needed to know that it was over for me. And though I will always love him for being my heart for 7 months, I will no longer wonder why he had to hurt me so badly.