Saturday, February 20, 2010

Thank Goodness for the weekend

It's been a little while since my last post. I've been super stressed in addition to pms'ing- I've been in major bitch mode, and I'm very disappointed with weightloss progress. It's going and getting no where. I'm 1.2 pounds lighter. Thats about all I can say. lol I hate working out. I have to force myself to do it... I guess I'm going to have to force myself to do more of it as well, because whatever I'm doing just isn't kicking me into weightloss mode. But then again, stress is overtaking.

I had a complete meltdown the other it's kind of funny now, but I was crying and etc. because I'm under a lot of pressure. This semester of 21 credit hours seems a lot harder for some reason. I was doing some paperwork for the college I am transferring to this summer, and became extremely overwhelmed with all of it, and the requirements I need to complete for dental school. In fact, because of all these additional prereq's. I may be set back a year longer than I intended. I can only hope for the best. I guess if I'm finished with all my schooling and a doctor of dentistry by the time I'm 30, then I guess I should consider myself as successful. Is a year really going to make that much of a difference in my life? I don't know, but ultimately I broke down because of all of these thoughts. I did a little research and found that on average, people don't complete dental school and start their career until around the age of 30. So I will just fall into the average category... I don't know. I am still stressed about it. I need a real job. I need to be able to make real money as well. lol I need to get a place of my own to call "home" I just feel like being 24 and living at home is getting to be too much. I know my parents want me at home, but I don't consider myself a child, and see all my friends that are 24 married with kids and buying homes, and I question myself on where I've gone wrong in my life? I have no serious relationship to even consider marriage. I have no children, I'm not even in graduate school yet. When will I have time for all these things?

I won't even be able to begin a family until I'm 30... It honestly makes me sad, because it's someting I want. I'm clearly not at any stage in life to be having children or a husband, but for some reason I feel like by the time I'm 30, its just too old to start that life. In reality, I won't even be starting that life at 30. At 30 I'll just be finishing school and getting started with my career. Maybe the kids and husband aren't apart of the picture for oh well. I made my choices and school was where I chose to go in life versuses working on relationships.... Guess I'm tired of being in a loveless relationship I call school!... well it's not even that. I love going to school because I know its going to get me where I want to be in life, however, i don't love the stress it puts on me, and it doesn't necessarily love me back... it doesn't comfort me when I'm sad or stressed or having a meltdown.... it's generally the

I just wonder when my time for true happiness is going to come. Will I ever find a person that is going to love me, and respect me, and support me when I need them.... or am I going to have to continue to count on myself for everything I need. I have my family yes. But it's not the same as having a significant other. I dislike seeing that all my "friends" have the things I want- minus the education... they chose husbands and babies, and I chose education and money. So ultimately who's happier in the end... me or them?

I'm glad its the weekend, but I still have a lot of things to do. I also need to force myself to exercise today and tomorrow. I guess something is better than nothing!

Hope you all are well.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Snowed In Weekend.

So, This weekend pretty much sucked. I'm not complaining that I got a snow day on Friday and didn't have to go to any of my classes... in fact it was great, but friday afternoon we lost our cable and internet... then around 4pm we lost our power which wasn't restored until sometime around 10pm. We froze to death!! But I was thankful for it to come back on. Now it's Sunday, I had TONS of homework to do, but was not able to thanks to my cable/internet being out. The cable and my internet just came back on an hour ago. It's time for me to get to work...

I'm missing Mr. Text Message, but UGH!!! Forget it. He's not worth it!

I'm kind of in a bored, sad, bad mood. Nothing is going my way. I'm stressed with all the homework I need to do. I've been stuck in the house and all I've done is eat. This weightloss thing is not working for me. I need to find some kind of motivation. I was really motivated for about a week and then I completely lost it! oh well... hope you all had a good weekend.