Monday, July 19, 2010

Down in the Dumps

I shouldn't care. I really shouldn't care at all but I do. As of today it has been exactly 1 month since I have seen Andre. We were texting back and forth.... but now he just ignores me. I guess he's moved on. He said he wanted to see me, and he was going to let me know when, and from that day forward I haven't heard anything from him. I know he's not the person for me, but when you become involved with someone emotionally and physically it is hard to let go and move on. It's just so much easier for guys. If only I could hide my emotions on command and never think or speak about them. I guess I won't get to see him to say goodbye either. So much for "closure" maybe this is whats easy for him... but not for me. I don't like to be ignored. I don't like to feel the way I feel right now either. Like really, should I be sitting here crying over someone who doesn't even have the decency to humor me and say goodbye like the many times I humored him and did what he wanted? Maybe there is someone else in his life. But if this were the case. I wish he'd just be up front and honest about it. I don't feel good. I feel alone.... Tomorrow is creeping up on me, and I'm not ready to deal with it.

I'm so mad at Andre for making me feel the way I do right now. I never did anything to him to deserve him to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing.

I don't even want to finish this... maybe another time.


Tawnya said...

I know that this is easy for me to say, but you are letting him make you feel like that. It is true that you did not deserve this, but you have to take the power back. These are YOUR feelings, not his. It is not easy and Lord knows I have been there so many times before. I have so much that I can not even blog about because I have someone sitting on my blog monitoring what I say. Seriously, it pisses me off, but I find it funny too because they are worried about what I might say. Yeah I know who they are too.

You were honest with him from the start. You get points for that because you could have been a bitch and not told him then just moved. YOU did the right thing. I know it hurts when people reject you, it will always hurt, but you have to learn to use that for your self. Do what you gotta do. For you. You knew he was not 'the one'. Love you as always. Hugs.